Exhibition Text
Ma Renaissance depicts how modern fashion industries and media affect me personally through aggressive force. My piece helps the viewers relate to my feelings I have on a daily basis and how it's an overwhelming amount of pressure. It's about how I dealt with these emotions and how I overcame the compulsion to fit in with others and beauty standards. I was influenced by Leonardo Da Vinci and Titian for the layout of my work.
Inspiration
Planning Sketches
This was my preliminary sketch. It was more inspired by "Bacchus and Ariadne" when it came to the movement of people and the layout. The people are chasing me with things that I don't like because they conform too much to beauty standards. Though, there are still chains attached to me because beauty standards are inevitable. This one I ended up not liking the layout because the focal point of the piece had a lot of empty space and didn't convey my feeling of feeling trapped.
In my second sketch, I wanted myself to be the main focus of the picture, so I put myself in the middle. The layout changed to follow Leonardo Da Vinci's "The Last Supper." The picture took place in my living room because there is a lot of natural light. This time the chains didn't connect to my legs, but rather my arms. I did this given that I use my arms and hands to put makeup on and chose my outfits. The thing I didn't like was there were less people surrounding me. I didn't enjoy it, so I didn't end up using this sketch.
Still using Da Vinci's layout, I sketched my final piece that I went with. I added more people and hands, so there was more going on. I wanted the piece to be overwhelming so the viewers experience the same emotions I do. Therefore, I added a lot of detail and movement. I decided I wanted the setting to be in my dining room, where my family eats. This ties in with the body image issues marketers push on young teenagers. Another addition is a male character. I ended up continuing with this sketch.
Explanation
Most say teenage years are the worst, and I can agree. A lot of people discover new things like puberty, interests, and a more responsible life. It’s the time for an individual to explore who they are and blossom to become a well rounded adult. For me, at the age of 13, the things that started to be revealed weren’t as envious as others. I had different ideas, alternate views. I believe these views started when I was getting symptoms of depression. In my second year of middle school, I started to become depressed. As an outlet to manage it I invested time into different subcultures. Some may know a few like “punk rock”, “goth”, or all the way to the more enlightened “2013 flower girl”. Though I was invested in the subcultures, I didn’t adapt to their styles. I’ve dealt with these feelings for years and thought it was because of hormones. I never brought it to the attention of anyone and didn’t feel the need to. Not only that, but I repressed my preferences for style, music and my love for art because it wasn’t what others were doing. I tried to fit in like most students and become the “ideal” girl and to be “normal”.
August 14th, 2017 is the day my life was flipped upside down. I moved 812 miles out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin all the way to Annapolis, Maryland. I was torn to leave a city I was so familiar with, people that I grew to love so deeply, and a school I was so heavily invested in. I started in a new school. I was eager at first, I tried to look on the bright side of things.
It was December. I had a workload like I’ve never had, I struggled to balance school and stress, which meant I had no social life. Nobody took interest to me, not to mention I didn’t take in them either, so I had no friends. Being isolated like I was made my depression into something I’ve never experienced before. I was alone and very scared of it. Meanwhile I was dealing with financial issues. I was trying to figure out who I was. I did crazy things with my hair, eventually frying it to the point where I had to cut it all off. I dressed everyday with an eccentric makeup look and an outfit that looked experimental. I felt like I couldn’t hold down my love for odd things anymore. Nobody at my school understood my style, and immediately started to judge my appearance. I felt like I stood out so much compared to others. I kind of liked it. I felt rebellious, but the isolation grew to be too much and my depression hit me harder.
January, my birthday month. Usually I am so excited to turn another age and have a birthday party, but that year I decided I didn’t want to. Ending my life sounded better than turning 16. My birthday rolled around and I was homeless due to an unfortunate circumstance with the apartment we were renting. I was living at my mother’s friend’s house. I had no friends to invite over for cake. For my 16th birthday, I didn’t have an amazing party to remember. I do remember crying while blowing out the candles wishing I could be someone else.
I transferred to another school a week later and started new. New apartment, new school, new attitude.I met a girl that became my friend and helped me through my hard times. I opened up to her about my different ideas and confused identity, something I’ve been struggling with for a long time, and she made me feel understood. With my transition to being more open to expression, I changed so many things. I got diagnosed with depression and started to get help with it. I stopped dressing like everyone wanted me to, I did the makeup looks I felt like doing, and I felt liberated. I became who I always felt like I was destined to be. I was born again.
August 14th, 2017 is the day my life was flipped upside down. I moved 812 miles out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin all the way to Annapolis, Maryland. I was torn to leave a city I was so familiar with, people that I grew to love so deeply, and a school I was so heavily invested in. I started in a new school. I was eager at first, I tried to look on the bright side of things.
It was December. I had a workload like I’ve never had, I struggled to balance school and stress, which meant I had no social life. Nobody took interest to me, not to mention I didn’t take in them either, so I had no friends. Being isolated like I was made my depression into something I’ve never experienced before. I was alone and very scared of it. Meanwhile I was dealing with financial issues. I was trying to figure out who I was. I did crazy things with my hair, eventually frying it to the point where I had to cut it all off. I dressed everyday with an eccentric makeup look and an outfit that looked experimental. I felt like I couldn’t hold down my love for odd things anymore. Nobody at my school understood my style, and immediately started to judge my appearance. I felt like I stood out so much compared to others. I kind of liked it. I felt rebellious, but the isolation grew to be too much and my depression hit me harder.
January, my birthday month. Usually I am so excited to turn another age and have a birthday party, but that year I decided I didn’t want to. Ending my life sounded better than turning 16. My birthday rolled around and I was homeless due to an unfortunate circumstance with the apartment we were renting. I was living at my mother’s friend’s house. I had no friends to invite over for cake. For my 16th birthday, I didn’t have an amazing party to remember. I do remember crying while blowing out the candles wishing I could be someone else.
I transferred to another school a week later and started new. New apartment, new school, new attitude.I met a girl that became my friend and helped me through my hard times. I opened up to her about my different ideas and confused identity, something I’ve been struggling with for a long time, and she made me feel understood. With my transition to being more open to expression, I changed so many things. I got diagnosed with depression and started to get help with it. I stopped dressing like everyone wanted me to, I did the makeup looks I felt like doing, and I felt liberated. I became who I always felt like I was destined to be. I was born again.
Collecting Images |
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Images used for final product: Images used for experimentation:
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Experimentation
Halfway through my project, I decided I didn't want to show the faces of the people. The reason I decided this is because I didn't want seem like I was blaming certain people. Therefore I drew some scribbles on a paper and used the "Lasso Tool" to cut it out. Then I copied it over my friend's and mother's faces. Then, I wanted it to be clear media is the one forcing these standards on me, so I photo-shopped a few clothing adds and a Vogue magazine in front of me on the table. This totally changed the look and mood of the project. Lastly, I added some hands grabbing at me with sharp nails. This deepens the threatening mood in my piece and adds to the visual of pressure.
Creative Process
The background of my image consists of two cut outs of a cloudy sky and an image of my living room. To be able to see the clouds through the windows, I cut out every window pane with the "Lasso tool". After that I inserted the table, but there was a massive glare on it. To resolve that I mirrored one side of the table that didn't have the glare. It turned out nicely. The second picture is the table prior to mirroring it. After doing the background and foreground, I started to work on the middle ground. I added myself and all the people around me by cutting them out with the "Lasso Tool". Then I adjusted the brightness on them so it was more dimensional. I added all the objects in like the hair and makeup. Lastly, I inserted the chains with "Puppet Warp." This was the most time consuming part of the project. All together it resulted in 64 layers because of the mass amount of detail I incorporated. Lastly, I added the small finishing touches to add extra detail and refine my project to the standard of perfection I hold for myself. Since Photoshop deletes the small hairs because it can't pick up such small details, I drew them in. This adds a realistic touch to the piece and displays craftsmanship. |
Reflection
Overall, I am proud of my final product. A few things made me worried like loss of detail or too much going on. In the end, I was looking at my piece and I was very happy with the outcome. I feel like I conveyed my meaning and connected it well with my inspiration.
I had a hard time deciding which artist out of the two to use as an inspiration, so in the end I decided to use the two. I'm glad I used both because not only does it make my piece recognizable, but also memorable. Plus the more inspiration, the more meaning and culture that can be traced back to it.
The setup around the table is similar to the one in "The Last Supper", but also different. The movement of the people around the table are more fluid and expressive. In "The Last Supper", the people gathered around Jesus are more stagnant and less expressive. The movement of the people bring in my other inspiration "Bacchus and Ariadne", because the people are extremely expressive and active. I aimed more towards a symmetric layout for my piece, but I always gravitate towards that positioning, so for my next project I would like to focus more on asymmetry.
Finding what to do to cover the faces of the people in my digital collage was hard. I was sitting in class thinking of the different ways and eventually found it by anger. I think the scribbles portray how frustrating these people can be. It's chaotic, but in the way I wanted it to be.
To be able to write out your own problems is the most therapeutic way to accept events into your life. Even though I'm more open about myself, I still can hold back because I'm afraid to let go. The more I experimented with this project, the more it helped me realize that it's easy to get lost in the expectations for others. It helped me diversify my tastes and even further my self expression.
I had a hard time deciding which artist out of the two to use as an inspiration, so in the end I decided to use the two. I'm glad I used both because not only does it make my piece recognizable, but also memorable. Plus the more inspiration, the more meaning and culture that can be traced back to it.
The setup around the table is similar to the one in "The Last Supper", but also different. The movement of the people around the table are more fluid and expressive. In "The Last Supper", the people gathered around Jesus are more stagnant and less expressive. The movement of the people bring in my other inspiration "Bacchus and Ariadne", because the people are extremely expressive and active. I aimed more towards a symmetric layout for my piece, but I always gravitate towards that positioning, so for my next project I would like to focus more on asymmetry.
Finding what to do to cover the faces of the people in my digital collage was hard. I was sitting in class thinking of the different ways and eventually found it by anger. I think the scribbles portray how frustrating these people can be. It's chaotic, but in the way I wanted it to be.
To be able to write out your own problems is the most therapeutic way to accept events into your life. Even though I'm more open about myself, I still can hold back because I'm afraid to let go. The more I experimented with this project, the more it helped me realize that it's easy to get lost in the expectations for others. It helped me diversify my tastes and even further my self expression.
ACT question responses
Clearly explain how you are able to identify the cause-effect relationships between your inspiration and its effect upon your artwork:
My inspiration greatly affected the way I position the center of my piece and determine where the focal point is. Not only did it affect that, but it affected the expressions and movement of the people surrounding me. Lastly, the colors were very drastic on me because it showed contrast between the focal point and the others on the outside.
What is the overall approach (pov) the author (from research) has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
The author provides deep analysis of both paintings for my inspiration. They go into background information and how certain aspects of the painting may have been influenced by different attitudes these artists had.
What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I discovered that some of the artists did absurd things for their time to stir up controversy in their community. For example, Da Vinci put in a disciple in the last supper that could arguably be Mary Magdalene in disguise. This connects back to my love to rebel against the recent beauty standards.
What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
The central idea was how much pressure I receive from beauty standards and how much they influence me of the daily. Therefore I personified a few of my fears and things that are being pushed upon me.
What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
I inferred that people rebelled before it was safe to. To disrespect a religion in the 15th century is almost asking for a death sentence. Even so, they had the guts to stand up against authority and their own pressure.
My inspiration greatly affected the way I position the center of my piece and determine where the focal point is. Not only did it affect that, but it affected the expressions and movement of the people surrounding me. Lastly, the colors were very drastic on me because it showed contrast between the focal point and the others on the outside.
What is the overall approach (pov) the author (from research) has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
The author provides deep analysis of both paintings for my inspiration. They go into background information and how certain aspects of the painting may have been influenced by different attitudes these artists had.
What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I discovered that some of the artists did absurd things for their time to stir up controversy in their community. For example, Da Vinci put in a disciple in the last supper that could arguably be Mary Magdalene in disguise. This connects back to my love to rebel against the recent beauty standards.
What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
The central idea was how much pressure I receive from beauty standards and how much they influence me of the daily. Therefore I personified a few of my fears and things that are being pushed upon me.
What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
I inferred that people rebelled before it was safe to. To disrespect a religion in the 15th century is almost asking for a death sentence. Even so, they had the guts to stand up against authority and their own pressure.
Bibliography
-Gallery, London The National. “Bacchus and Ariadne.” The National Gallery, The National Gallery, www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/titian-bacchus-and-ariadne.
-King, Ross (2012). Leonardo and the Last Supper. New York City, New York and London, England: Bloomsbury. pp. 187–189. ISBN 978-0-7475-9947-0.
-“The Last Supper - by Leonardo Da Vinci.” Leonardo Da Vinci - Paintings, Drawings, Quotes, Facts, & Biography, www.leonardodavinci.net/the-last-supper.jsp.